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Was it important enough to put a wedge between himself and his brother? I don’t think so. One of my sons came to me to say the other had forgotten to put the cap on the toothpaste. This question can be helpful for a habitual tattler. Instead, he could’ve grabbed the knife and started chopping. They were slightly too big to fit into a bite of a taco. Over dinner one Taco Tuesday, one of my sons said, “These tomatoes need to be cut smaller.” It was true. If your kids aren’t sure if something's true, they should err on the side of caution and not say it. And if your kids aren’t sure if it’s true, they should err on the side of caution and not say it. So have your children ask themselves, “Does what I want to say check the five boxes?” If the answer is no, they should keep it to themselves or rethink the way they want the words to come out. Not only does the THINK acronym provide a five-point checklist kids can run through to test what they’re about to say, but it also forces them to pause, which is often enough to prevent unnecessary damage. “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” That’s a proverb I remind myself of often and I want my kids to commit that wisdom to memory-but I know remembering the THINK acronym is a whole lot easier. All they have to remember to do is THINK. If you want to teach your children to think before they speak, you can use it, too.
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I’ve told my kids this story to share the lesson I learned, but I also have a tool to help them be more careful with their words. So here I am, wishing I could take back the hurtful thing I said. I see about five people from high school still today, and you guessed it, Taryn is one of them. Being the loyal friend she was, Nicci told Taryn what I said, and I had no defense. Her name was Taryn and while she wasn’t in the room at the time, Taryn’s friend Nicci was. I was in high school and I said something rude about a girl. I’ve been digging myself out of a hole for 25 years.